Well, that’s easy, you say. You’re a clinical herbalist! And while I may be on a path towards becoming a clinical herbalist, I am finding that clinical herbalist on its own is a rather dry description of a colourful and varied occupation. The truth is that I am an herbalist who starts seeds in March, on a shelf on wheels with florescent lighting in her garage, tending each seed and seedling like a fragile babe. I am an herbalist who struggles with inspiration in the kitchen and longs for a personal chef. I am an herbalist who loves capturing morning light on dew laden petals through a camera lens, and the knobby roots of elecampane through the mark making of a thin black pen. I am an herbalist who is looking for a spiritual path to ground my journey amid the daily tedium of child and house tending, and who steps outside every night to say goodnight to the moon.

In the words of Alexis J. Cunningfolk,

“In other words, how do you show up to the work of learning all the ways you can hold space, provide resources, and walk the fine line of giving of ourselves without losing ourselves to the people and beings which need care again and again?“

How do I choose to walk the path of an herbalist? How do I care for myself and others? How do I tend to myself so that I feel the greatest amount of joy while also benefiting those around me?

Sometimes I feel like I know myself better through my creative interpretation or documentation of life. As though remaking a moment with a camera or pencils, paint or pen, I can emerge with a more thorough notion of myself. I know that on the other side of a finished drawing lies a Meghan that is satisfied and tired. A tiny glimmer of who-I-am. And when I watch the herbs or flowers bloom in the garden that I started by seed way back in April, I know that I have done something right. The choices I make in how I walk the world give me a tangible yes or no. Often the no’s that seem like they are supposed to be a yes are tied to a should, an obligation, a decision I made too long ago. A yes on my path is joyful and exciting and does not come with any strings attached.

So what kind of herbalist am I? I am an herbalist who is tending to herself. An herbalist who is learning and listening to what kind of herbalist she really is, without trying to box herself into an idea of who she thinks she needs to be.